Have you ever seen one of those horror movies where a person gets trapped inside a doll, and it shows its eyes and that's the only sign the person is there? Some days are like that for me.
Morning- time to get up. Today was OK , a good day is taking meds at 4 and getting up at 5. A bad day well lets just say late, and the worst I wake at 12 or latter. The reason I get up at 5 is I have to get my oldest on the bus. It's the first fight of the day. Two foot, as her aunt nicknamed her, reminds me of how it was when I was little. She sleeps all night and is too tired to wake up in the morning. I can't fix my past, but I refuse to watch my kids live it out in front of me.
It is a little past 7 so the fun begins. The meds I took some time after 4:30 have little affect on the sleepiness that comes and goes. Second battle of the day the hardest of them all, stay awake. If my life were a horror movie, this would be the place where the "bad guy" was trying to catch me so he/she could put me in the doll.
Tuesday work day. I am lucky to have discovered merchandising, it allows for my "issues" for the most part. I got my first job ever when I was 20. I worked at a pet store, and I loved it! Unfortunately this is where I learned about "Time UP" it started out grate then it went down hill. As time progressed it got harder and harder to wake up before time for work. It's like you spend a lot of money on something and wind up borrowing against your next pay check to maintain it, this is ok , for a while, eventually it costs so much that you have no next check left, and not much of the next one ether. For me the it is work and instead of money, its the ability to function. Well safe to say I started over sleeping, my boss even had to call me multiple times to wake me up. Then one day he called to tell me not to bother coming in at all. He was a very good boss, not only did I learn from him, but he gave me a lot of chances when he didn't have to. After that I discovered when it was "Time Up". This was the point when I quit before getting fired.
Merchandising is the same, although it is longer to"Time Up", but it still shows up. For getting most jobs a long list of previous employment is a bad thing, luckily merchandising is't that way. My current job is one I will miss, but it is that time again. It gets harder to get going and to remember everything I need to do, so it is time to go.
Even writing these posts is tiring it usually takes all day to finish, but I am going to leave it at this for now and try to get going and do my job, in my endless sleepwalk I call life.
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