The attic light is dim

      Well I have no idea what I am doing, I only know what I am trying to do, and who I am . Hopefully that will be enough.
            Hello I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a part time employee, a dreamer, a hard worker, a crater, and a Narcoleptic. The funny thing is, when you tell someone that you have Narcolepsy for the most part they ether have no idea what it is or they want to know what you drive so they can avoid you on the road. The second is due for the most part because of what they think they know. What you see in the moves is not always how things are. I think the reason for the dramatizing of this condition is due to its lack of drama, as far as move making can see.  I am only one of many people with narcolepsy ( or PWNs ) who are trying to be heard, we want to let others see our world so they can understand how things are on our side of reality.

           First I do not fall asleep in the middle of conversations, at least not were anyone can tell. If you ask my best friend she will say I seem to lose track of the conversation, or get off track. Second I look and act like, well almost, normal. I get my kid on the bus, drive, work, shop, and all the things one has to do in a day. Third I am not LAZY. PWNs don't really like that word much. We hear it A LOT. This misconception is on the other side of the spot light, it is what the people closest to us see. Confused? Well I will try to open your eyes, and if you are willing I will try to show my reality to you.

           I have suffered the symptoms of Narcolepsy most of my life. When I was little I tossed and turned all night and then in the morning could barely drag my self out of the bed. If you are thinking: Well there's your problem you should have gone to bed earlier, it is a bit more complicated. Every one has a internal clock, this tells your body when to sleep and wake. If you are a morning person it says wake up at dawn, normally this clock can be adjusted. Mine is stuck on night. In other words day = night and night=day. For me to stay awake during the day could be compared to the before mentioned morning person to go from 1st shift to 3rd. This persons brain is set to day light =awake, dark= sleep, so when they suddenly need to sleep during the day so they can work all night, their brain says "Hey wake up" and they have a hard time falling asleep and getting the rest they need for work that night. Normally your brain can adjust to this change and so it can do its "night job" which is to fix up your body and give you that refreshed feeling. Mine on the other hand seems to have automatic reset, so even though I get up in the morning and go to bed at night it never seems to get the hint. I also have always had a tendency to dose off when not active. I spent most of the 5th grade in trouble for that, part of it landing me in break detention, my teacher would read from the text book or something else that required all of us to be still and listen, and next thing I know WHAM! my head hits my desk. This never went over well with my teacher, who commanded me to go to bed earlier. I like to think I tried to do so, and I know I tried not to fall asleep in her class. My hardest efforts for the most part were in vain. My head would fill with cotton muting the voice of my teacher, which did little to help my efforts, my eye lids would grow heavy and it was like trying to open your eyes when they are crusted shut. The darkness would creep in starting at the edge of my vision slowly covering my eyes making it hard to see, I would hold out as long as I could not yet old enough to realize that having to focus all my thoughts on simply looking like I was awake to avoid getting in trouble, that I was missing the lesson and would still lose. I am not saying "Were it not for this I would be the best student ever!!" I most likely still would have been poor at best  but I'm sure it didn't help. I knew I wasn't supposed to fall asleep and nothing is as shocking as when you feel all fuzzy and then someone slaps your face with a board, which is what it felt like, and as I was trying to figure out what had happened, here came the teacher to add to my fright, because that's the thing about sleep attacks some times they creep up so you can fight and some times you feel like a mime who just walked head on it to one of those invisible walls. 
        If you have been able to follow this far good if not I am sorry,like I said I'm just a mom, ect. not a writer or trained pro. I'm just trying to bring attention to a condition that dose so much to a person and still is for the most part unknown,in hopes that if my little girls develop it the pain and depression it can cause can be lessened if not prevented. And all the people who have this and don't know (I read that only a few people with it ever find out) will have a chance to get help. I also hope that the people who have loved ones with this will be able to understand what it is and what it dose not only to the mind and body but to the spirit, a simple remark made in fun can be a devastating blow. If I can help one person I will be happy I wrote this. I have a 2 year old demanding my attention so I will stop here and continue latter.